Monday, August 23, 2010

Letting go

by Jane

One of the really nice customs in publishing is that when an agent is invited to lunch by an editor or a publisher, the editor or publisher usually brings along a book or two from their list for the agent. Sometimes the books are bestsellers, sometimes they represent new voices the publisher is proud of and wants to show off.

Recently, though, an old friend, an editor with a major publishing house, gave me a particularly thoughtful book at our lunch, The iConnected Parent: Staying Close to Your Kids in College(and Beyond)While Letting Them Grow Up.  The book was written with research done at Middlebury and The University of Michigan and discusses how much or little parents should stay connected to their children as they leave the nest. 

The book was a particularly lovely gift as my son is going off to the University of Michigan next week where he will begin his college career. It has been difficult contemplating this separation even though my husband and I of course knew it was coming. Having friends and colleagues who are as thoughtful as this editor was at this time is helping us all to get through this experience far more smoothly.

I have no doubt that reading The iConnected Parent will be instructional and comforting and I am looking forward to it. I wonder if you have any other suggestions for books to help us empty nesters move forward.


  1. I don't know if this will help, but here's an excerpt of Kahlil Gibran's poem On Children from The Prophet which I find fitting:

    Your children are not your children.
    They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
    They come through you but not from you,
    And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

    You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
    For they have their own thoughts.
    You may house their bodies but not their souls,
    For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
    which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
    You may strive to be like them,
    but seek not to make them like you.
    For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

  2. I'm in my third year of college and I have never been closer to my parents :)

  3. I have no books to suggest, but I definitely recommend opening a Facebook account if you don't already have one. You can find your kids on Facebook even when they seem to have disappeared from the face of the earth.

    My kids have friended me. Bet they wish they hadn't, but it's too late now.


  4. Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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